General’s Log, Hair Date 78211.1:

In just a few short days, I will boldly go where no president of the Mid-South Amateur Hockey Association (MAHA) has gone before: rollerblading. As I stand at the precipice of this journey, I find myself facing a myriad of challenges at the age of 44: a waistline that seems to defy the laws of physics, the nagging ache of self-inflicted Achilles tendonitis, and - perhaps the greatest foe of all - an oddly receding hairline that mocks me at every turn - in front of a mirror. Yet, in the spirit of exploration, I embrace these trials as mere steppingstones on the path to discovery.

This is the General’s Log, documenting my remarkable 250-day, 2,000-mile odyssey fueled by a perplexing mix of youth hockey fundraising, Star Trek narration, and not so subtle hommage to the glorious mullet. The mission is clear: to raise $4,000 to secure ice time for a transformative three-day summer hockey camp, nurturing the dreams of aspiring young players in the Memphis area. Together, we will skate towards the future, one stride at a time.

Each week, dear reader, you will be updated on the triumphs and, inevitably, the amusingly catastrophic failures that await me on this perilous voyage into the abyss.

Engage!

To learn more about how you can support the odyssey, click here.

All blog entries are human-written, AI-enhanced. Don’t judge us for using technological advancements. We know you ain’t using a wooden stick!